the despairing thought

if it were

as if i was one blind

deaf

for it is such

that if i hadn't you

it would be as if looking at a black rainbow

as if groping,

 in the shadows

for i would not have my match stick

nor would i have my candle,

my guiding hand,

i would wander

as if one tormented

one,

alone.

swallowed by despair

drowned in sorrow

consumed by grief

submerged

by the tonnage of a life solitary

i am starve

famished

for i wish to swallow you whole

the scent of your hair

creates a hunger deep down

a hunger

inside me

i die of thirst

for i thirst

for the touch of lips

that give me life

the taste

your breath on my shoulder

the shine of your spheres

when the light from the brightest star

the pulse of a corpse

is all i feel in my chest

for i am hollow

in choked desolation

i watched you leave

Sonnet 2

my thoughts consume you

i wake up in the dark and reach for you, 

i call your name.

and realize, you are naught to be.

these nights, have become more frequent

i cease without you.

i stumble, even in the light

for without your presence i am as if blind

the colours of the world have dulled and grayed

for you,

you are my light, that guides me through

the darkest of dreams

and saves me form the depths of sadness and despair

you are my sun, in my universe

for our love reaches the deepest level of my soul

our souls, joined as one, burns in my core

the longing for my one, my soul mate, my love

like a hunger that would not be fulfilled

lest you with me.

these words i write, they mean little

for they come close to naught

compared to how i feel

that every touch is like fire through me

every caress like a rush of air into my drowning lungs

every kiss, i am reborn

i crave your mouth, your breath, your hair

the feel of you against my skin

i need you

i wander, i am hunting

for my libido, my passion, my love

i hunt you

to have as mine

to keep always

to hold whenever

to love forever

on the 19th of February 2009